The “H” Word

HIt’s the rainy Monday morning after we adjusted our clocks and lost an hour of sleep this weekend.  To say this family was slow moving is an understatement and the one who had to wake the latest was by far the slowest, yet she always is.  The 9 year old love of my life is pokey.  When out and about and playing, she is full of energy and on the go, go, go, but to get ready to go, go, go anywhere is a challenge.  Even if we are planning to go somewhere of her choosing, she just takes a long time to get ready.  The only thing that makes her move slower than the snails’ pace she is already moving at is to use the “H”  word, “Hurry.”  Add an “Up” at the end and it slows the process even more, throw in an exclamation point at the end and she may just sit down, stop entirely & have a good cry.

This has been an ongoing problem in our family and I recently attended Calm Parenting University (yes, I’m serious) for some pointers. I learned a lot, but implementing the tips and tricks is going to take an incredible amount of awareness & patience.  Though I have only briefly studied Kirk Martin’s method and cannot claim to add calm parent to my resume, he did give me some food for thought. I’ve decided to try to implement my own version of his approach.

One thing that was pointed out in class was the stress our kids are under and many times it is stressed placed on them by their parents.  I get it.  I do.  I don’t know how to fix it, but I get it.  I did become aware of some of my stress inducing behaviors.  One being the “wake-up-we’re-late-hurry-up-get-moving” morning greeting I wake my daughter up with each school day.  Yeah, not my finest moment as a mom.  Kirk suggested we just sit on the side of the bed as they begin to wake and then ask them something fun to get their thoughts headed in the right direction.  As he was saying this, I thought, as he predicted I would, “Where the heck am I going to find a few minutes to sit on the side of the bed while she gently wakes?”  However, I’m doing it and Kirk was right, I get the time back in the end as I prevent melt downs and tears.  So, I am pleased to say that I am on day 5 of my 21 days to try to develop a new habit regarding this.  As I am doing well on this front (5 days….I am doing okay) I cannot seem to remove the word, “Hurry” from our morning, even though I recognize how detrimental it is to really accomplishing the act of hurrying.  Each time she hears the word, she seems to slow down.  It’s obviously a trigger for her, so I need to attempt to remove it from my vocabulary.  What does that look like?

I don’t know if it will work, but I’m going to increase my word power and attempt to use some new “hurry” words.

  • Dear, let’s advance to brushing your teeth.
  • I like the way you expedited the dressing process this morning.
  • Wow.  You are fired up today, look at the way you threw those covers back.
  • Please quicken a bit, the bus is on its’ way.
  • Rev ‘er up girlie, we’ve got places to go and people to meet!

Thanks to a thesaurus, I could also try: Get the hammer on, hasten, lay a patch, make tracks, open up, peel rubber, & step on the gas, but somehow, I’m not sure those would be beneficial.

Actually, I’m not sure how any of those will work, but at least I’m thinking.  As I try to eliminate stressing my kid out with the hurry up in the morning, I hope you might become a little creative in your verbiage too.  Maybe if we do, we could have a better start to the day….especially the rainy Monday after Daylight Savings time.

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Filed under Adoptive, Big Kids, family, Little Kids, Parenting, Trauma-mama, Uncategorized

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