Lord, Why Don’t I Trust You?

242Oh Lord, why don’t I trust you? I should. I really should. I’ve read your Word long enough to know that your promises are in there and I have seen them play out in real life and yet I still don’t always trust you quick enough.

I just watched a video of my son riding his bike across the country while staying with people he met on the internet. He returned safely. That should prove it.

My other son took a gun, loaded it, headed to the woods and shot his thumb. The healing of that thumb without surgical intervention is amazing not to mention the many blessings in the miracles and the people that surrounded us during that time. You certainly proved you were trustworthy then.

My daughter traveled to foreign countries and stayed at random Air BnB’s as a college student. A daughter’s dream, a mother’s nightmare. You remained faithful.

My other daughter got very sick while living states away, went through a spinal tap, medical tests of all sorts and eventually was simply healed. You are so good.

Custody battles with my youngest daughter resulted in visits with abusive parents unsupervised for 4 years before parental rights were terminated and we could ensure her safety and you were with her and us each step of the way to work out your plan of permanence. I doubted, but you stayed true.

There have been broken hearts, car accidents, shootings, diagnosis, mental health emergencies, complicated pregnancies, a flood, sicknesses, risky travel, legal problems & loss and you have masterfully helped us through it all.  You continue to amaze me with your presence yet I still question at times and it is still hard for me to trust. And sometimes I can’t trust you with the littlest of things.

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It appears that I’m not only distrustful, but I’m also insane. Because God, you have proven time and time again that you are able and willing to help me in all that I do and yet I question. Am I expecting you not to? Am I expecting a different result?

In addition to being distrustful and insane, I am also wrong.

God, you are trustworthy. You have proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I hope I can remember that the next time! Forgive me for my unbelief.

Readers, I challenge you to make a list of all the things you didn’t think would work out the way they did.  I think you will see that you can trust him too!

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Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  –Psalm 20:7

Trust in the Lord forever,
    for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. –Isaiah 26:4

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. –Psalm 56:3

 

 

 

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Filed under Adoptive, Big Kids, family, Inspirational, Life, Little Kids, Parenting, Scriptures, Trauma-mama, Travels, Uncategorized

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