I can say that not only was I blessed by having a good mother, but I was doubly blessed by having her 93 years. I had the honor and privilege to be the daughter of someone that I never heard anyone say an unkind word of. When her name came up, it was always in reference to a kind deed she did, a kind word she said or simply to comment on her beautiful smile and kind heart.
When I would describe my mom to people who didn’t know her, I would say she was a saint. Then I would emphasize, “no, I mean she was a real saint.” She didn’t talk badly about people, she didn’t complain and she truly could find the good in every situation and if she couldn’t, she certainly wouldn’t let anyone know.
I explain her belief in the God given scriptural proof of positive and hopeful thinking to others by sharing the story of her receiving a call when Dan was in college. We were hearing her side of a phone conversation, “Oh, that’s so good. What a blessing. That’s wonderful to hear.” She hung up the phone and said to my Dad, “Bob, we need to go to Penn State because Dan was hit by a ricochet in rifle class and the bullet grazed his nose.” My Dad asked what was so good about that and she replied, “The bullet hit his nose, it could’ve been his eye.” She lived her life just that way. If something bad happened, she’d be grateful something worse didn’t. These past couple of weeks, she has continued to remind us all how lucky we are, how many good things we have and how blessed we’ve been.
My Dad died suddenly when I was 16 and I remember immediately thanking God that he took my Dad and not my Mom. I knew in that moment that I was on good terms with my Dad and I had no regrets. I also knew as a teenage girl, that if God had taken my Mom that evening, I would’ve had regrets in my last words and my last actions towards her. At that age, I didn’t recognize how much I would need my mom in the days ahead in a different way than I needed my Dad. That night, I was able to see my Mom in a different light and what I used to see as weakness in her, I saw as strength. My Mom handled losing her husband at age 50 in a manner that displayed heartache and strength with a grace that was unbelievable. We all knew where her strength came from and where she expected us to go for our strength without preaching the importance in having faith but in just living it out.
When Pastor Bev visited last week, I began to tell her that I felt that Mom might want to talk to her because I knew that Mom was worried about us during this time. I no sooner got the word “worried” out of my mouth that she interrupted me and said, “I’m not worried.” She didn’t worry. She prayed. She recited her version of Philippians 4:6 to us many times. “Don’t worry about anything, pray about everything, tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers.
In the last few years, she would express that she was ready to go home and be with the Lord. She would see a photo of a group of her friends, family or coworkers and comment on how most of them were gone now and she wondered why she was still here. She hated being a burden and needing help and as she became less able to serve others, she often said she felt “weary.” We would tell her the Lord would take her when she finished her work and he obviously still had work for her to do. She said that the only thing she was physically able to do to help others was to pray. I figured that she was still here because we all still required her prayers. My Mom spent her last days praying about everything and everyone. Even when she wasn’t really “with us” she was mumbling names and asking God to bless them.
One of the biggest lessons she ever taught me occurred one time when I was really struggling with a situation with my kids. I felt overwhelmed by parenting and I was sitting on the couch crying uncontrollably and I said, “I Can’t Do This!” She sat beside me and said quietly, “oh but you are.” She expected me to do the best with what had been given me and she knew it would take strength and faith for me to do that well.
After my Dad’s funeral, my Mom said matter of factly, “On Monday morning, I will go back to work and you will go back to school and we will do our best.” And now, as we leave here lost and not sure where we will go, we will have to find some of that strength and faith to go on without her. I’m sure each of you know what she would say specifically to you in this situation if you were sitting across her kitchen table with her, so just do that. She left this world with nothing left unsaid or untaught. She did her part, so now I believe she’d expect us to do ours. She got her work done.
From Stepping Heavenward by Mrs. E. Prentiss Copyright 1869
My steadfast aim now is to follow in my mother’s footsteps; to imitate her cheerfulness, her benevolence, her bright, inspiring ways and never to rest till in place of my selfish nature I become as full of Christ’s love as she became. I am glad she is at last relieved from the knowledge of all my cares; and though I often and often yearn to throw myself into her arms and pour out my cares and trials into her sympathizing ears. I would not have her back for all the world. She has got away from all the turmoil and suffering of life; let her stay!
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