Monthly Archives: July 2015

I’m An Old Mom!

I’m an old mom.  I’m chronologically old for being the mom of a 9 year old, but I’m also an Old (AKA experienced Mom) as I’ve been at this for over 25 years.  This can be both a good thing and a bad thing.  Let me just share.

This week my 9 year old daughter wanted to give me a tattoo.  Not wanting to disappoint and in an attempt to try to be hip and trendy, I allowed her to choose this large, colorful tattoo.  I chose to have it on my inner wrist as I thought that was cool positioning.  I did request she do a really neat job of it as I would have it on for the church picnic.  She was taking this task very seriously and applied it carefully.  She held the wet sponge on my wrist for a proper length of time and was carefully removing the paper backing when I saw a flaw.  Some discoloration was fading out the bottom of the tattoo.  I was disappointed that the tattoo didn’t have clear boundaries and asked her to be more gentle and slow in removing it.  Turns out the tattoo was fine.  The discoloration was simply an age spot.  True Story.

So I have some age spots, but I also have some wisdom.  I have been at this long enough to know that it truly doesn’t matter if I have a tattoo on my inner wrist for a church picnic.  It also doesn’t matter too much if remnants of glitter tattoos linger on her summer bruised legs longer than I had hoped;.  It doesn’t matter if you have to buy cookies from Sam’s Club instead of baking them.  My kids are not practicing math facts every day this summer, they aren’t even completing all their chores each day.  What they are doing is having fun.  They are going to camp, swimming, building forts, making friends, playing four square & staying in PJs if we don’t have to go out.  One BIG reason for this is that I’m an old mom. I’m too tired to diligently instruct & too tired to plan the summer as all the Parenting magazines suggest.  I’ve read the articles, I’ve made attempts.  I’ve succeeded and I’ve failed.  Now that I’m old, I’m letting my kids figure out summer just like I had to when I was a kid.  My mom didn’t hold the role of Activities Director and somehow the neighbor kids and I figured out how to have a good time.

So, whether you are a young Mom scheduling, planning & creating things with your kids or if you are an older mom who lets your kids figure it out on their own, I wish you much success.  I hope this is the best summer ever for all involved!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under family, Life, Parenting

Called to Serve?

Lately there has been a common theme in my devotional & scripture reading.  Serve.  Ugh.  I don’t want to serve.  I don’t even like the sound of it.  Serve is definitely a part of the word servant and I really don’t want to do that.  But the more I think about it and the more I attempt to do it, I find there is real joy in serving others.

Mark 10:25 says (in RED letters no less)“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

If Jesus was not above serving others, I guess I should attempt to do it too.  So daily I start on the journey of serving.  Do you have the opportunity to serve?  Is there a food cupboard that you can donate food and time to?  Is there an organization that you can meet with on a Saturday morning to pick up litter along the highway?  Those are some serving opportunities, but the kind of serving that I’m called to do is even a bit more difficult than that & I bet you can do these too.

I serve daily.  I wake in the morning, make the coffee for my husband, pick up the open bag of chips that the kids left behind in the TV room.  Move on to pick up the single sock in the kitchen.  What’s THAT doing there? Gather the snack dishes from the counter, put them in the dishwasher, let the chickens out, turn off the basement light that was on all night, walk down the stairs to turn off the TV too.  Put the butter away, put the phone back on the charger, wipe off the table, sew a button, put the batteries back into the remote (Why are they out?) unpack yesterday’s lunch bag.  You get the idea. Opportunities abound to serve!  They are everywhere.  We sometimes call them chores, sometimes annoyances.  However, if we change our attitude and look at scripture, they can become noble feats of servitude.  Wow.  That makes picking those Lucky Charms off the bottom of your sock a lot more rewarding!

Look at your serving and recognize that it is pleasing to God when we serve others.  Don’t become overwhelmed with your serving, become blessed.  And, don’t forget to share with your kids what you’re learning about scripture, they may start serving you a bit too!

1 Comment

Filed under family, Inspirational, Life, Parenting, Scriptures

Miracles

K is my foster daughter.  We met her when she was turning two and she is now four.  She was abused and arrived at our home with a casted broken leg and was recovering from the other leg being broken five weeks prior.  Her eye is permanently swollen from an untreated infection and the court master ruled that she was abused.  She was returned to her home because no one would identify the abuser and after ten weeks, she was injured again and returned to us.  The second time she was placed with us, I felt sure that the courts would be swift to make a decision on her behalf.  They did not. They spent months , even years, attempting to rehabilitate a couple who didn’t see a problem. A couple that took anger management classes and parenting classes, but never recognized their need for them. Court hearings were held every 3-6 months and at each one, I desperately prayed for permanency for K.  I recruited others to pray and as we prayed, we waited for the courts to make a decision for K. Should she return home or should the rights of the parents be terminated? At each hearing, my hopeful prayers of permanency for K were met with a decision to wait another 3 months and meet again.

My journey of faith took a huge walk uphill when after a year and a half in care, they decided to start a reunification plan and award the biological parents increased visits and overnights in the hopes that K would return home.  These visits were heartbreaking and disruptive for my family and even harder for her. While she had previously enjoyed her visits a day at a time, these extended visits were scaring her. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay with us.

Since I met K, my prayer has always been for the Lord to place her where she needed to be and to comfort my family if she needed to be reunited with her biological family . I stated many times that I felt like I was praying out of both sides of my mouth. “Lord, allow her to be part of our forever family…BUT, if you don’t, comfort us.” Many times I struggled with whether I should be grieving losing her or fighting to keep her. “Thy will be done Lord.” “Let her stay with us IF it is your will.” Though faithful in prayer, I felt like my prayers were indecisive.  What did I want? My belief that a child deserves to be with their biological mother fought with my belief that a child deserves to be safe. Enter all the other considerations of raising a 5th child when we are approaching retirement age into the mix and I almost didn’t want to know God’s will.

As time passed, it became apparent to us that K would be better off in our home. We were the only “real” family she knew, yet I didn’t feel I had the right to tell God what he should do but someone needed to do something in the this case! The courts with their overcautious behaviors were doing a disservice to us and to K. We needed a decision.

I awakened to the idea that what we needed was a miracle.! A miracle is “an event or action that contradicts known natural, scientific laws and is due to a supernatural cause.” It would take a miracle to get an overly cautious court system to make a decision. I increased my prayers and the number of people I recruited to pray. I asked them to join me in praying for a miracle.

The day of the hearing came and I immediately became the recipient of not just a single miracle, but many miracles. I had a peace that made no sense, I had friends calling me and supporting me, my other children were having a good first day of school, I wasn’t as anxious as I thought I should be, I saw two deer in my front lawn and wasn’t too preoccupied to recognize the blessing in God’s creation and the list goes on.

I received a call from the caseworker following the hearing sooner than I expected and though there was no official ruling, steps are being taken to lessen the biological mothers visits and permanency is well on it’s way for K.

Later that evening, my Pastor called and said, “Well, did you get your miracle?” I had to think about it for a bit and then realized that I had. Though the court didn’t make an official ruling that day and officially K doesn’t have permanency yet, I realized that I had received my miracle. My miracle is accepting the fact that I received a miracle by letting go and letting God decide what is best in this case. My miracle is the peace I felt. Not every item on my miracle check list was checked off, but God knew exactly which ones to check off at this point. The miracle isn’t in the change in the situation, the miracle is in the change in me.

NOTE: Originally written 9-2-10 and I am pleased to say that K has received permanency and is a true blessing to our family!

1 Comment

Filed under Adoptive, family, Inspirational, Parenting, Trauma-mama